Ideal

In an ideal world I wouldn't be struggling, I wouldn't need to try, I would be happy. This is not an ideal world, so I am struggling, I do try, and I am not happy (though I try)

Future Untold

How does this story develop
While I am in school
As I am working
Or can I look to the future.
To where I will be
To know how I feel
Concentration on becoming,
Truly happy

Pillow

My day starts with getting up
It continues with me and the world
Narrows to a (hopeful) relaxing night
And ends where my day begins
Face against the pillow,
Eyes open, thinking of you.

Starting Line

What beginning is appropriate
The one that starts with my beginning
The one that starts with yours
Or does the beginning start now
With me and you.

Deep Echo

I want to tell you how I feel, why I feel this way, and show why you should feel the same for me. Deep in the back of my mind, an echo is heard telling me to back away, and not tread down this path which may lead to sorrow.

Yes/No

I try and figure how to approach this situation.
With caution,
Or put everything on the line.
Just to find that one answer,
Yes or No

Last Words

This final visit
Which you don't know is happening,
You walk in the door
Smile on your face
Smile on theirs.
You know they aren't well
Though you try to believe
That everything is okay.
They invite you to have a seat.
As your grabbing the back of the chair,
You notice them prepare a snack,
As they always have.
You turn to look around the house,
You missing the pain in their face
While reaching for the plates.
As they get everything ready,
You ask how they are doing.
They give you an answer
Though they meant otherwise.
Conversation continues as each eat
Reminiscing over past experiences
Some moments bring a tear to their eye.
Always makes you wonder
What are behind those tears.
It then leads to a persons last moments,
Before they no longer are with us,
Their thoughts, their actions,
Their words.
At that time, you get a call,
Time to leave.
You step out the door
Turn around,
Look back at them
And hear them say
"I love you"
You just smile and go on your way.
Your drive home is longer then normal
Taking the time to think
Of each moment from before.
Next week comes around.
The phone rings,
You pick it up without any thought
The next words you hear
Break every thought.
Every emotion.
"Your father is dead"
You stop thinking everything goes numb.
The next few days you feel...
Feel nothing.
Your standing beside yourself
All your trying to remember,
Your moments with them.
Only words which pass through,
"I love you"
All you did was smile,
Sadness now runs through you.
Regret to not say these words.
Though so simple,
Yet so profound
Realization occurs within.
All there is, all there was,
All memory of them end up at
Their last words.

What's Next

You take a moment to review your life, look at where you are, who you are, how you got here. Everything from before has led up to this.

The next thought that comes to mind, where do I go from here.

Nightly Thought

As you look up into the vast night sky, one has to wonder why we look up, or why does it seem the space looks down at us.

Order

Trying to focus on a certain thought can be tough, especially when yours is right next to it.

Happening

People say life is what happens when you are busy making plans. I believe life is what happens when there are no plans, there is just you, taking in the atmosphere of each day.

Recall

Life is just a series of flashbacks, until the present where you look back on it all.

Doorway

I look toward a new door, what is beyond this door is a mystery, until I insert the key, turn the handle, and make my way through.

Unknown Path

I once thought I was lost. It has turned out I am wandering along a darkened hallway, without any idea of the direction I am going. I am not lost, I am gone.

Looking Back

Have you ever wished you were able to turn back time? To a point where you can change that moment in time where you knew you made the wrong choice. When looking back on the wrong choices I have made throughout my life, I have realized that I would have mostly likely made that same choice if I went back to that moment. I do this because I choice to make my own path through each passing moment. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Wishing

I only wish I knew you better, I wish I had the chance to spend time with you, I wish I was able to hold you when I was sad, I wish I was able to hold you when I knew you were not feeling well. I wish a few things, and they all are on behalf of you.

Sorry Boys

When you first meet that one girl, who you believe is the one for you, and you try and try and try your hardest to get her to notice you, and be around you. The thing is you may never get anything in return because that girl may not be interested and there is nothing you can do about it.

Draft

As I stare into your eyes, all I see is you amongst the crowd around us. I wish it was the same for when you look at me.